Silly verbs, vol. 1
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| Verbs! |
There’s saying that goes: “If you want to know what a
German is talking about, you have to wait until he’s finished.”
After living in this magical land of beer and schnitzel
for about a year and half, I can verify the validity of this statement. The German
language is a genuine clusterf*#% of rules and grammatical formulas that are
incredibly puzzling to most native English speakers … and speakers of many
other languages, for that matter. I’m currently trying to learn it and yeah, wow.
OK. So, let’s try
to understand why the above statement is true.
In English, the placement of the verb/verbs in a
sentence isn’t super important. Sure they sound really dumb in some spots, but
it’s generally flexible.
*in case you forgot, a verb
is an ‘action’ word i.e walk, run, talk, jump etc.
In English you can say: I had
a wild party last night and my neighbor called the police.
Or you can say: Last night I had a wild party and my neighbor called
the police.
See how ‘had’ moved there? First it was the second thing
in the sentence (after 'I'), then it was third (after ‘last night’ and I) No
problem, right? And see how ‘called’ is 3rd from the end? Why, that’s
the perfect spot for that verb! Looks great there, doesn’t it?
Not if you’re a German.
In a typical German sentence, the
verb MUST be the 2nd thing in the sentence. If there is another verb,
it goes at the end. Wünderbar!
In
German you can say: Ich hatte letzte nacht ein verrückte Party
und mein Nachbar hat die Polizisten angerufuen.
Or
you can say: Letzte
nacht hatte ich eine verrückte Party und mein Nachbar hat die Polizisten
angerufen.
*note that nouns are ALL capitalized. WTF?
See how ‘hatte’ (had) did not move? First, it was the
second thing in the sentence (after I), then it was second again after ‘letzte
nacht’(last night). And see how ‘angerufen’ (called) is right at the end in
both?
Verbs are like the kings of the German sentence, the rest
of the words will just arrange themselves around these stubborn jerks and bask in their sunshine. The one at the
end is really infuriating because no matter how many details you add to that
sentence, it DOES NOT MOVE.
For
example: Ich hatte
letzte nacht eine verucktes party mit zehn rote hunde und zwei scwarze Eisbären
und mein Nachbar hat, wegen den Lärm die Polizei angerufen.
LITERAL TRANSLATION!!!!!: I had
last night a crazy party with ten red dogs and two black Polar Bears and my
neighbor, because of the noise, the police called.
AHA! Proof! Just look at that bloody sentence! You
actually don’t know what the heck is going on until it’s well and truly over.
Oy Veh.
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